5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

Give me your hand so I can pledge my allegiance to you upon Islam.” The Prophet  extended his hand and Dhumad eventually cleansed his heart from disbelief, while saying, “I bear witness that there is no one worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad is the servant and Messenger of Allah.” The art of listening The Prophet  also realised that he was a noble man among his people, so he said to him, “And your people?” meaning, will you call them to Islam? Dhumad said, “Yes, and my people.” He then returned to his people as a preacher and a caller to faith. Hence, be an expert listener. Listen attentively. Move your head to indicate you are following the conversation. React by demonstrating facial expressions, like furrowing your forehead, raising your eyebrows, smiling, or moving your lips in surprise. Notice how it affects the person who is addressing you, be he young or old. You will find that he focuses on you even more. Result... Our expertise in listening attentively to others makes them profound in their love for us. The art of listening (86) The art of discussion You must have a memory of a meeting you may have had with a friend where the two of you angrily argued, after which you were left bitter and angry for days. Perhaps, you might also recall an argument you saw between two people, perhaps over a trivial issue, where the two of them raised voices in anger, after which they were left resenting one another. Sometimes we tire ourselves by winning people over by using various skills only to then alienate them from ourselves by behaving inappropriately. This is often caused by the lack of expertise in discussion and argumentation. The debater is like a rock-climber. It is important that he is careful where he places his hands and feet. You will find that a rock-climber will first look at the rock he wishes to hold on to. He examines it fully and thinks whether or not it would withstand his weight before grabbing hold of it. He does the same with the rock he wishes to place his foot upon. When he wants to move his foot away from one rock to another, he carefully examines the stone before lifting his foot, in case he makes a mistake and falls. I would not make a discussion or debate long. Rather, I would keep it concise and precise. It is not admirable to become engaged in a discussion or an argument. Perhaps you may even agree with me that more than 90% of the arguments are not beneficial. Try to avoid argumentation as much as possible. Do not be angry if someone criticises you and tries to argue with you. Relax as much as you can and do not upset yourself contemplating the intention of the one who criticises you, thinking, “What does he want? Why did he embarrass me in front of others?” Do not kill yourself with anxiety. Deal with the situation calmly. Winds only blow away small rocks - and you are a mountain! When the Prophet  came to Makkah as a conqueror after the Quraysh had nullified their treaty with him, the Prophet  had prayed to Allah to blind the Quraysh from noticing him so that he could attack them in surprise when they were unaware. When the Prophet  headed towards Makkah, he stopped over at a nearby place whilst the Quraysh had no knowledge of it. But they were nonetheless on the lookout for him. That same night, Abu Sufyan along with some of his companions went out on a reconnaissance mission, as the Prophet  waited for dawn to break so that he could attack the Quraysh. When al-‘Abbas – may Allah be pleased with him – saw this, he said, “O for the morning that Quraysh are going to witness! By Allah, if the Messenger of Allah enters Makkah by force before they come to him to seek his protection, the Quraysh will be destroyed forever!” Al-‘Abbas went to the Prophet  and sought his permission to leave, and the Prophet  granted him it. Al-‘Abbas mounted on the Prophet’s white mule and left. The art of discussion Abu Sufyan along with his companions meanwhile came closer to the camp of the Prophet , unaware that the army actually belonged to the Prophet . As he looked at the fires that the Muslims had lit, he said, “I have never seen such huge fires lit, nor an army as huge as this.