91. Be brave and start from now! (cont.)

So much so that Khadijah – may Allah be pleased with her − said to the Prophet  when he first received revelation, “Allah shall never subject you to any indignity, for you always maintain your ties with those of your kin, and you are always generous in giving; you are diligent, and you pursue what others regard as a lost cause; you calm the heart of your guest, and you lend your support to those who seek justice and redress.” As a matter of fact, Allah’s words in his praise are something we will continue to recite until the Last Day, “And indeed, you (O Muhammad ) are on an exalted standard of character!” The Prophet’s character in its entirety was the Qur’an. When he recited, “Be good, for Allah loves those who are good” he was good to the old and the young, the rich and the poor, the noble and the weak. When he heard Allah’s words, “Forgive and overlook...” he forgave and overlooked. When he recited, “Speak well to the people...” he spoke well to all. If the Prophet  really is our example, then let us study his life carefully, and in particular how he would deal with others, rectify their faults, bear their harms with patience, tire himself at their service, and call them to guidance. One day he was seen helping a poor person, the next making peace between two Muslims, the next calling the disbelievers to Islam, and so on, until he grew old and his bones became weak. ‘A’ishah – may Allah be pleased with her – said while describing the Prophet , “Most Purify your intention for the sake of Allah of his prayers, when he grew old, he offered sitting.” Can we guess why? She explained, “Because the people had completely exhausted him.” The Prophet  was so eager to improve his character that he would pray to Allah, “O Allah, just as you have beautified my physical being, beautify my character.” (Ahmad, Sahih) He  also would say, “O Allah, guide me to the best of manners, for none guides to them except You. Protect me from bad manners, for none can protect me except You.” (Muslim) Hence, we are in need of emulating the Prophet  in his character when we deal with Muslims so that we may win them over, and when we deal with the non-Muslims so that we can educate them about Islam. A hint... Purify your intention so that your interpersonal skills can turn into acts of worship, with which you can draw closer to Allah. Purify your intention for the sake of Allah (17) Use the right flavour There are things which people unanimously love and appreciate, and things which they unanimously dislike. There are also things upon which they differ, so while some may be appreciative of them, others may find them cumbersome. Hence, everyone loves to be smiled at and hates to be frowned at, yet some may appreciate jokes whilst others may not. Some people may like others visiting them whilst others would rather be left alone. Some may love to talk excessively whilst others may not. Often people feel comfortable with those of the same nature as themselves. Why not then be pleasing to people of all natures? It is said that a man once saw a falcon flying next to a crow. He was amazed at the thought of the king of all birds flying next to a crow! He concluded that they must have something in common for them to fly together, he continued to watch them until they became tired and decided to land, and lo and behold, they were both crippled! Hence, if someone knows that his father prefers silence to excessive talk, then let him deal with his father accordingly in order to gain his love. If a wife knows that her husband loves jokes, then let her joke with him. If she discovers the opposite then she should avoid joking with him. The same can be said about a man dealing with his colleagues, neighbours and brothers. Do not think for a moment that people are all of the same nature, for they differ and come in many varieties. I recall that a righteous old lady, who happens to be the mother of a friend of mine, would praise one of her sons lavishly. She would always be happy whenever he visited or conversed with her. Even though the rest of her sons and daughters were also kind to her, her heart was attached to this one son in particular. I would wonder about this, so one day I asked my friend why. He replied, “The problem is that my brothers do not comprehend my mother’s nature. They become too cumbersome for her to bear whenever they sit with her.” I asked, jokingly, “So your highness was the only one able to discover her nature?” He laughed and said, “Yes! Allow me to tell you the secret.