5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

People are like the minerals of the earth Another lesson that I have learnt from my life is that one will almost inevitably come across a person who is uncouth and ignorant. Neither can such a person articulate himself appropriately, nor is he courteous to his audience. I recall such a person sitting in a public gathering where he decided to relate an incident involving a shopkeeper. As he related the story he said, "This shopkeeper was huge, like a donkey!" He then said, "He looked like Khalid!' while pointing at the person next to him! I have no idea how he managed to liken poor Khalid to a donkey! Before ending this chapter, an important question must be answered: Can one change his own personality to suit that of the one he is interacting with? The answer is: Yes! 'Umar – may Allah be pleased with him – was known for his strong personality. One day, a man quarrelled with his wife and came to 'Umar to ask him advice on how to deal with her. When he stood at 'Umar's door and was about to knock, he heard 'Umar's wife shouting at him while 'Umar remained silent. He neither shouted back, nor rebuked her! The man was amazed, and turned back to leave. 'Umar heard a noise at the door, so he went out and called the man, "What do you need?" He said, "O Amir al-Mu'minin, I came to you to complain about my wife, but then I heard your wife shouting at you!" 'Umar said, "She is my wife who sleeps with me, makes me food and washes my clothes. Shall I not be patient with her?" People are like the minerals of the earth For some people there is no solution, and with them one must remain patient. A person may complain to me about his father's anger or his wife's miserliness, and so on. I would suggest a few solutions only to hear he has tried all of them and has had no success! What then is the solution? The solution is that one should remain patient with such people and try to ignore their bad traits in light of their virtues. They should try to accommodate them however much they can, for some problems simply have no solution. The result... Knowing the personality of the one you are dealing with helps you earn his love. People are like the minerals of the earth (21) Mu'awiyah's hair A teacher once worked in a secondary school. In one of his lessons, he noticed that some students were being negligent and lagging behind in their revision, so he decided to teach them a lesson. After a few days, when he entered the classroom, and as soon as he sat down, he stunned the students by saying, "Everyone, please put your books away and take out a paper and pen!" "Why?" asked the pupils. "You have a surprise exam!" he said. The pupils grumbled as they complied, but one not-so-bright, large-bodied student who was a known troublemaker shouted, "Teacher, we don't want an exam now! I cannot even answer exam questions after revising, so what about when we have not revised at all?" The pupil said this in a very fierce tone and the teacher was furious. He said, "Things don't happen here just as you please! You must sit the exam! Do you understand? If you don't like it, then get out of the classroom!" The pupil replied back in rage, "Rather, you get up and leave!" The teacher turned to the pupil, walked up to him and began to curse him, "You have no manners! No etiquettes!" The pupil stood up and some things occurred which I would rather not mention, but can be guessed. The matter reached the school administration. The pupil was punished by having his final marks decreased and was forced to pledge that he would never again misbehave. As for the teacher, everyone at that school began speaking about him. He could not walk down a corridor without hearing people whispering something about him, until he was compelled to leave and join another school. Now, another school teacher once faced the same dilemma, but he dealt with it appropriately. One day, he entered his classroom and surprised the pupils by saying, "Please, take out your pen and paper. You have a surprise exam!" One pupil, like the one mentioned previously, screamed, "Teacher! You cannot give us an exam whenever you feel like it!" The teacher was like a mountain that could feel the insignificant weight of the person trying to climb him. He knew that a stubborn person should not be responded to with yet more stubbornness. He smiled and looked at the pupil then said, "So, Khalid, you do not want to sit the exam?" The pupil screamed, 'No!' The teacher said very calmly, "OK. Whoever does not wish to sit the exam will have to face the school's disciplinary procedure. Mu'awiyah's hair So, write the questions down.