5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

"But I was taken by surprise. There were four lanes in front of me and all four of them were full of cars. I had the choice of steering away from them all and falling off the bridge, or putting my foot down on the brakes and letting the car play with me as it wants, or the third choice, which was the easiest of them all..." "Which was?" I asked. "To crash into one of the four cars in front of me!" I laughed and said, "I see! So what did you do then?" He said, "I slowed down as much as I could, choose the cheapest car in front of me and smashed into it!" Do not criticise me! End of story? He then laughed as did I, but I thought about what he had said, and thought that perhaps he did not deserve much criticism, because his choices were limited. Some problems simply do not have a solution. If a person's father happens to be very bigoted, he tries to advise him using all means, and if he does not listen, what more can he do? A suggestion Put yourself in the shoes of the one criticised and think from his perspective. Only then pass a judgement on him. Do not criticise me! End of story? (39) Verify the fault before criticising It was clear by the tone of his voice when he rang me that he was angry, but he was trying his best to conceal his anger. This was not the tone I was used to hear from Fahd. I noticed that he was holding something against me. He began to talk about the many trials people have to face nowadays. Then his tone became harsher and he began to repeat, "You are a preacher, a student of knowledge, and your actions will be accounted for…" I said to him, "Dear Abu 'Abdullah, would you like to speak about the issue upfront?" He said, "Well, you gave a lecture at such-and-such a place where you said, such and such." I became amazed and asked, "When was this?" "About three weeks ago", he answered. I said, "I have not been to that area for about a year." He said, "No, you have! And you spoke about this!" It then became clear to me that my friend heard a rumour and he believed it, and on that basis he formulated his advice, his stance and his words. No doubt I still love him but my respect for him has decreased, because I discovered that he is too hasty. How many are those who draw a conclusion or form views based on a rumour they may hear! Many of them come to advise you only to discover that they were following hearsay. Many of them allow these rumours to become imprinted in their hearts and on that basis they paint a picture of you, which happens to be false. Sometimes it becomes widespread that so-and-so did suchand-such. In order to preserve the respect he has for you, verify the news before speaking to him, and this was the methodology of the Prophet . A man came to the Prophet and the Prophet looked at him only to notice a man in a shabby state, his hair covered in dust. The Prophet wanted to advise him to improve his appearance, but he feared that the person might be a pauper who had no money. So he asked him, "Do you have any wealth?" The man said, "Yes, I do." The Prophet said, "What sort of wealth?" The man said, "All sorts of wealth: camels, slaves, horses, cattle, etc." The Prophet said, "If Allah has given you wealth, then let it be shown on your person." Then he said, "Does your camel give birth to young ones with sound ears, but you get hold of a blade and cut off the ears and call it Baheerah? And do you cut a bit of it, or cut its skin and call it Sarm, thereby making it forbidden for yourselves and Verify the fault before criticising your family?" The man said, "Yes." The Prophet replied, "Verily, what Allah has given you is Halaal. Allah's blade is the sharpest!" (al-Hakim who declared it Sahih) In the Year of Delegations, some envoys came to the Prophet having accepted Islam to give the pledge of allegiance to him, whilst others came to him as disbelievers in order to accept Islam or to make pacts. One day, as the Prophet sat amongst his Companions, there came a delegation from al-Sadif. There were about ten of them. They headed for the Prophet's gathering and sat down without giving salutations. The Prophet asked them, "Are you Muslims?" They said, "Yes". The Prophet said, "Why did you not give salutations?" They stood up and said, "Peace from Allah be upon you, O Prophet, and His mercy and blessings!" He replied, "Peace be to you, too! Please be seated!" They then sat down and asked him about the prayer times.