5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

If someone you have lied to falls into a problem, he would never complain to you, and even if you advise him, he would never listen to you. How ugly it is to lie! The Prophet  said, “A believer might commit every sin - except betrayal and lying.” (Ahmad and Abu Ya’la with narrators of al-Bukhari) Honesty The Prophet  was asked, “Can a believer be a coward?” He replied, “Yes” He was then asked, “Can a believer be miserly?” “Yes”, he replied. He was then asked, “Can a believer be a liar?” “No!” he replied. (al-Muwatta, Mursal) ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amir – may Allah be pleased with him – said: “My mother once called me while the Messenger of Allah  was sitting in our house. She said, ‘Come here and I will give you something.’ The Messenger of Allah  said to her, ‘What do you want to give him?’ She said, ‘I will give him some dates.’ He said to her, ‘If you were to fail to give anything to him, one act of lying would have been recorded against you.’” (Abu Dawud, Hasan) If the Prophet  ever found out that someone in his household had lied, he would remain aloof from them forever. Many a time, people are pushed to lie in order to paint a more beautiful picture of themselves. Thus, you would find them lying about their courage, or inventing their own chronicles, or adding to the truth to make it more interesting, or claiming to be talented when they are not. You will find the liar making promises and breaking them. When he makes blunders, he will make up excuses, only for his lies to be discovered by others sooner rather than later. Honesty Once, al-Imam az-Zuhri stood in front of the ruler of his time and gave his testimony over an issue. The ruler said, “You have lied!” Az-Zuhri screamed, “I seek refuge in Allah! Would I lie? By Allah, if someone were to call from the heavens that Allah has made lying permissible, then I still would not lie! How can I then lie when it is haram?” Reality They deceived you when they said that it was only a white lie, because a lie is always black in colour. Honesty (69) Bravery Someone said to me once after we had just left a wedding party, “Believe me, I know the name of the Companion whose story you mentioned and whose name you did not remember.” I said, “Amazing! Why didn’t you mention his name, then? You surely saw me confused and trying hard to remember his name!” He hung his head down and said, “I was too shy to speak.” I said to myself, “How dreadful is cowardice!” Another person I know used to teach the final-year students at a secondary school with me. I met him one day and he said to me, “A couple of days ago I entered the classroom and noticed the students sitting silently, while the teacher was simply sitting on his chair instead of teaching. I sat down and asked the one next to me: ‘What’s wrong?’ He replied: ‘Our classmate ‘Asaf passed away yesterday. May Allah have mercy on him.’ There were a number of ‘Asaf’s friends in the class who didn’t pray and were engaged in many prohibited actions. They were all clearly affected by what they had heard. I thought to myself that perhaps I should say a few words in admonition and encourage them to pray, be dutiful to their parents and improve themselves.” I said, “Excellent! Did you do it then?” He said, “Well, I didn’t, as I felt too shy to.” I remained silent, suppressed my annoyance and said to myself, “How dreadful is cowardice!” You ask a woman, “Why don’t you be frank with your husband about the subject?” She replies, “I am shy! I fear he might become upset with me or not speak to me! I am fearful…” How dreadful is cowardice! You ask a young man, “Why didn’t you tell your father about the problem before it became worse?” He said, “I was scared… I didn’t have the guts…” Some of them may even raise your blood-pressure by saying, “I am too shy to smile… I am too embarrassed to praise him… I fear people might say: ‘He is too courteous and light-hearted.’” I hear about such behaviour too often - such that I wish I could scream, “O cowards! For how long will you remain so?” A coward can never attain glory. He is always negative. If he attends a gathering, he wears the cloak of cowardice and never participates in a discussion. If a joke is mentioned, people laugh and make comments, but he simply hangs his head down and smiles. When he attends a gathering, no one even feels his presence. It makes it even worse for him to be a father, a husband, or Bravery a director, or even a wife or a mother and be a coward. People universally dislike cowardice. It is never respected.