5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

When the Prophet saw him, he found him to be an old man whose body had weakened and bones had softened and who was close to death. Abu Bakr looked at his father, who he now saw after a long period of separation, for he had been apart from his father in the service of his religion. The Prophet said to Abu Bakr out of kindness, "Why didn't you leave your old father at home so I could come to see him instead?" Abu Bakr knew that they were in the middle of a war where the Messenger of Allah was their leader. He also knew that the Prophet had very little time and too much to accomplish to visit the old man's house and ask him to accept Islam. Hence, Abu Bakr thanked the Prophet and said, "O Messenger of Al23 Taking one's psychological condition into consideration lah, it is more appropriate that he comes to you than for you to go to him." The Prophet sat Abu Quhafah down in front of him very kindly, placed his hand on his chest and said, "Accept Islam." Abu Quhafah's face illuminated, and he said, "I testify that there is no one worthy of worship but Allah and that Muhammad is His servant and messenger", and Abu Bakr rejoiced as he had never done before. The Prophet gazed at the old man's face and noticed that his hair had turned grey, so he said, "Dye his hair, but do not use black." Yes, he would take psychology into consideration when dealing with others. In fact, when he entered Makkah, he had divided the army into battalions and had given the banner of one of the battalions to the heroic Companion Sa'd bin 'Ubadah – may Allah be pleased with him. It was considered very noble to carry the banner, not just for the carrier but also for his people. As Sa'd was looking at Makkah and its residents, he reflected upon how they had fought against the Messenger of Allah , put him under unbearable strain, turned people away from him, murdered Sumayyah and Yasir, and tortured Bilal and Khabbab. He thought that they surely deserved to be taught a lesson! Sa'd waved his banner and said, "Today is the day of slaughter! Today your inviolabilities will be attacked!" This was unbearable for Quraysh. They feared that he might exterminate them all. Hence, a woman stepped forward and complained to the Prophet about Sa'd in words of poetry, begging him to prevent Sa'd from shedding anyone's blood. When Allah's Messenger heard her poetic words, he was Taking one's psychological condition into consideration moved and felt pity. He didn't want to disappoint her, just as he didn't want to anger Sa'd by taking away the banner from him after having honoured him therewith. He therefore ordered Sa'd to hand over the banner to his son, Qays bin Sa'd, whom Sa'd was riding alongside, as they entered Makkah. Hence, the woman from Quraysh was happy when she saw that Sa'd was no longer carrying the banner, and likewise, Sa'd was not angered since he remained the leader of the battalion, except that he had spared himself the burden of carrying the banner and had thus given it to his son to carry instead. How wonderful it is to kill two birds with one stone! Try not to lose anyone. Try to successfully win over everyone - even if there is conflict of interest between them. Harmony... We deal with hearts not bodies. Taking one's psychological condition into consideration (24) Be concerned about others People usually like to be valued. This is why one sees individuals at times acting in a certain manner in order to attract attention. They may even invent tales or stories of their valour so that people may show them concern or be amazed by them. Imagine a person who returns home from work tired. He enters his living room and finds his four children sitting alone. The oldest of them is eleven-years old and is watching a television program. The second is having his dinner. The third is playing with his toys, and the fourth is doing his homework. The father then greets them in a loud voice: "as-Salaamu 'alaykum!" One of the children is lost in his television program, the second is completely enchanted by his toys and the third is busy with his dinner. As for the fourth, when he turns around and sees his father, he drops his books and rushes in delight to welcome him, kisses his hand, and then returns to his books. Which of the four children would be the most beloved to the father? I say with certainty that our response would be the same: the most beloved of them would of course be the fourth; not because he is the most beautiful or the most intelligent, but only because he showed his father that he valued him.