5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

We said to her: ‘Where can we find water?’ She said:‘There is no water here.’ We said: ‘How far away is the water from your house?’ She said: ‘One whole day.’ We said: ‘Go to the Messenger of Allah .’ She said: ‘What is a Messenger of Allah?!’ “We took her with us to Allah’s Messenger in the hope that she would tell us the location of the water. The Prophet  asked her about the water and she responded with what she had responded to us earlier, and further complained that she had orphans to look after. The Prophet  took hold of her water con19 Be kind at the first meeting tainer, mentioned Allah’s name on it, and then wiped over it and began to pour the water from her container into our utensils. All forty of us drank from it until our thirst was quenched. We filled our utensils with water and left hers, which now carried more water than they did before. “The Prophet  then said, ‘Bring what you have (i.e., of food).’ We collected pieces of bread and dates for her. The Prophet  said: ‘Take this to your family, and know that we have not decreased your water at all; it is only that Allah has quenched our thirst.’ “The woman then mounted her camel happily after receiving food and went home. When she returned, she said: ‘I met a magician, or perhaps a prophet as they claim...’ “Her family were amazed at her story with the Prophet , and it wasn’t long before they all accepted Islam.’” (al-Bukhari and Muslim) This woman was amazed by the Prophet’s treatment and generosity in her very first meeting with him. One day, a man came to the Prophet  asking him for material aid. The Prophet  gave him a portion of his cattle. The man returned to his people and said, “Accept Islam, for Muhammad gives like a man who doesn’t fear poverty!” Anas  said, “The man would come to the Prophet  solely for worldly reasons, but afterwards his religion became more precious to him than the whole world and all that exists therein.” (Muslim) Be kind at the first meeting A suggestion... The first meeting imprints 70% of the impression that one has of a person on his mind. Thus, one should treat a person as if it is the first and last time he will ever meet him. Be kind at the first meeting (20) People are like the minerals of the earth If we reflect upon our experiences with others, we find that people have different natures like the varying nature of the land. There are those who are soft, and those who are hard. There are those who are generous, like a fertile land, and those who are miserly, like a barren field that can neither hold water, nor produce fruit. People, therefore, differ immensely. On reflection,we know that various terrains are traversed in different ways. The manner in which solid ground is walked upon is certainly not the way soft ground is. One would be relaxed walking on the former while apprehensive on the latter. Human beings are of a similar nature. The Prophet  said, “Allah created Adam from a handful of dust taken from different lands, so the children of Adam have been created according to the composition of the land. Therefore from mankind we have red, white, black and what comes in between these; we have good and evil, easygoing and sorrowful.” (Abu Dawud and Al-Tirmidhi who said it Hasan Sahih) Bear this in mind when dealing with others whether they are close, such as fathers, mothers, wives or children, or otherwise, such as neighbours, colleagues or even shopkeepers. People’s various natures and temperaments have an effect on their decisions. To prove this point, carry out the following experiment: If you ever have a problem with your wife, ask a friend of yours, whom you know to be harsh, for advice. Say to him, “My wife is giving me problems. She does not treat me with respect. What should I do?” He would probably respond with, “Women can only be controlled by terror, fury and rage! Have a strong personality and show her that you are a man!” If you follow this advice, you may subsequently return home and as a result, break up your family. Now, try another friend whom you know to be soft and gentle. Tell him what you told your previous friend. You will find that he would probably say something like, “Dear brother, she is the mother of your children. All marriages have problems. Have patience with her regardless of what happens. She is, after all, your wife and your life partner.” Note how a person’s nature affects his views and decisions. For this reason, the Prophet  forbade that a judge should pass a verdict when he is either thirsty, hungry or even feeling the urge to answer the call of nature.