5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

The Shaykh said, "What are the qualities you want in your wife?" He replied, "She has to be good looking, tall, with lustrous hair and a beautiful scent. She should cook delicious food and talk sweetly. Someone when I look at her, she pleases me, and when I am away, she safeguards herself in my absence. She should not disobey me, and I shouldn't have to fear her evil. She must also take pride in religion and enjoy wisdom." The man continued to mention all the good qualities in women that he would like to see in that one woman. When the Shaykh thought he had heard too much, he said to the man, "My son, I know a person who fits the description." He replied, "Where?" Run away from problems! The Shaykh said, "In Paradise, with the permission of Allah. As for this world, then you must learn to be tolerant!" Yes! You must learn to be tolerant in this world. Do not torture yourself by looking for problems and arguments, so one day you scream in the face of someone sitting next to you, "You are talking about me, aren't you?" or to your son, "You want to upset me by being lazy!" or your wife, "You deliberately do not give the house due attention?" The Prophet's method in general was to be tolerant. That way he used to enjoy his life. Sometimes, he would go to his family in the morning, whilst feeling hungry. He would ask them, "Do you have anything to eat?" They would say, "No." He would say, "In that case, I will fast." He didn't use to cause problems due to that. He didn't use to say, "Why don't you cook something? Why don't you tell me so I can buy it for you?" Rather, he would say, "In that case, I am fasting", and that would be the end of the matter. He would deal with everyone in a very tolerant fashion. Kulthum bin al-Husayb was one of the best the Companions. He said, "I went out on the expedition of Tabuk with the Messenger of Allah and one night I was travelling with him through the valley of al-Akhdar." Kulthum then mentioned the rest of the story where they walked for quite long, until sleep began to overcome him, and as they rode, his camel kept getting closer to the Prophet's camel. Upon noticing, he would suddenly wake up and pull his camel Run away from problems! away fearing his camel's saddle may brush against the Prophet's foot. At one point, he was overcome by sleep, and his camel collided into the Prophet's camel, and his saddle brushed against the Prophet's foot. The Prophet felt the pain and let out a sigh. Kulthum woke up upon hearing the sigh and became embarrassed and said, "O Messenger of Allah! Ask Allah for my forgiveness!" The Prophet demonstrated tolerance and said, "Carry on… Carry on…" Yes, this was all he said. He didn't turn it into a scene, saying "Why did you collide into me? The path is spacious! Why are you riding next to me, anyway?" No. He did not trouble himself. It was just a hit on the leg, and that was it. This was always his way of dealing with things. Once he was sitting with his Companions and there came a woman with a cloak. She said, "O Messenger of Allah! I wove it by my hands for you to wear." The Prophet took it, as he was in need of it. He got up, left for his house, wore it as a lower garment and came out to his Companions. A man from amongst the people said, "O Messenger of Allah! Please, allow me to wear it!" The Prophet said, "Certainly," and instantly returned home, took it off and folded it up, wore his old lower garment and sent the new one to the man. The people said to the man, "What you did was not right! Run away from problems! You asked him for it, knowing that he never refuses whoever asks him for anything!" The man said, "By Allah, I did not ask him except that it should be my burial shroud the day I die." When the man died, his family shrouded him in that garment. (al-Bukhari) How beautifully were people affected by this treatment! Once, the Prophet led his Companions in 'Isha prayer. Meanwhile, two children entered the mosque, al-Hasan and alHusayn, the two sons of Fatimah. They headed straight for their grandfather, the Messenger of Allah while he was praying. Whenever he prostrated, al-Hasan and al-Husayn would jump on his back. When he wanted to raise his head, he would gently grab them, take them off his back and make them both sit next to him. When he returned to prostrate, they would jump back on his back. When he finished his prayer, he took them both gently and sat them on his thigh.