5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

He gave me many things, and also a pair of every kind of livestock and said, 'Eat (of this), O Umm Zar', and give provision to your relatives.'" She then said, while describing her love for her first husband, "Yet, all those things which my second husband gave me could not fill the smallest utensil of Abu Zar's." This was the end of the long story about the eleven women. We can deduce from this just how long the Prophet spent listening to the story from his beloved wife and life-companion, the mother of the believers, 'A'ishah – may Allah have mercy on her. The Prophet was listening attentively, while responding positively and showing his interest and enjoyment as 'A'ishah spoke. He did not exhibit signs of boredom, despite being tired and busy. When 'A'ishah −may Allah be pleased with her− finished her story, in order to show that he had understood the story, and that he was listening to her and not lost in another world as she was relating it, he said to her in response, "I am to you like Abu Between the living and the dead Zar' is to Umm Zar'.'' So we agree on the importance of showing kindness and concern for others. From now on, if your son comes to you dressed in a beautiful garment, saying, "What do you think, dear father?" Respond to him positively and say, "SubhanAllah! How beautiful!" Whoever it may be, your daughter, wife, husband, son or colleague, and whoever you may mix with, be lively and responsive. Sometimes you may forget an incident. For instance, if a person says to you, "Good news! My father has recovered from his illness!" Don't respond with, "Actually, when did he fall ill?" Say, "Alhamdulillah! May Allah give him a great reward and good health. You made me happy by delivering this news, may Allah make you happy!" Or, if one were to say, "My brother came out prison." Don't say to him, "By Allah, I didn't even know he was in prison." Respond positively by saying, "Al-hamdulillah, this is very good news. May Allah always keep you happy!" Lastly, dear reader, encouragement and responding positively works even with the animals. Abu Bakr al-Raqi said, "I was in the desert and I passed by an Arab tribe. There, a man from amongst them took me into his tent as a guest. In the tent, I saw a black slave bound in chains. I also noticed some dead camels in front of the house. There was only one camel left which was about to die. The slave said to me, 'You are a guest and you have rights Between the living and the dead over your host. Please intercede on my behalf to my master, for he is very generous to his guests. He will not reject your intercession and perhaps he will unlock these chains.' I remained silent since I didn't know what his crime was. When they brought the food, I refused to eat and said, 'I will not eat until I intercede on behalf of this slave.' The master said, 'This slave has made me poor and destroyed all my wealth.' 'What did he do?' I asked. He said, 'He has a very beautiful voice. My livelihood is based on these camels. He loaded heavy loads on the camels and began to sing poetry in a very beautiful voice to make the camels go faster, so much so that they travelled a three day journey in a single night. When the camels were unloaded, they all died except one. However, since you are my guest, I would like to offer the slave to you in your honour.' He then stood up and freed the slave from his chains." Abu Bakr said: "I then desired to listen to his voice, so the next morning I asked him to sing to a camel which was drinking water from a well, so the camel would be active at work. The slave began to sing in a beautiful voice. When he raised his voice, the camel became ecstatic and excited, and forgot itself so much so that it broke its rope. I fell on my face due to his beautiful voice. I do not think I ever heard a voice as beautiful as his." (Ihya 'Ulum al-Din) If even the animals respond positively to a beautiful voice, which encourages the slave to beautify his voice even more and sing better, then how about human beings? Between the living and the dead Develop yourself by training… Be lively and not dead. Respond positively and with appropriate facial expressions, until others feel comfortable with you. Between the living and the dead (55) Make your tongue sweet There are always moments in our lives when we must advise and counsel others. One often advises his or her son, husband, friend, neighbour or parents. The end result of the advice usually depends on its beginning.