91. Be brave and start from now! (cont.)

A hundred ways to win people’s hearts (16) Purify your intention for the sake of Allah I contemplated the way some people, some of whom I have lived with for years, deal with others,. I do not ever recall them laughing, or even smiling at a joke out of courtesy, or reacting positively to the person speaking to them. I used to think that perhaps this was how they were nurtured and that they were unable to alter their nature. I was therefore stunned one day to see some of them with a group of rich and powerful people, laughing and being courteous. I then realised that they only did this for their own personal interests and are thereby losing out on great rewards from Allah. A believer worships Allah by being well-mannered and dealing pleasantly with all, not to attain status or wealth, or for people’s praise, or to get married, etc., but only so that Allah may love him and make him beloved to His creation. Yes! Whoever considers exercising good manners as worship will deal courteously with everyone, be he rich or poor, a manager or a tea-boy. If one day a poor cleaner on the street stretches out his hand for you to shake it, and then another day a director of some company stretches his hand out in the same way, will you treat them equally? Will you welcome them both, and smile at them equally? The Prophet  would certainly treat them both equally in terms of welcoming them and showing them sincere conduct and compassion. Who knows, perhaps the one you may belittle and look down upon might actually be better in Allah’s sight than he who you look up to and show honour and respect to. The Prophet  said, “The most beloved of you to me, and the closest of you to me on the Day of Resurrection are the best of you in manners.” (al-Tirmidhi, Sahih) The Prophet  also said to al-Ashaj bin ‘Abd Qays, “You have two qualities that Allah and His Messenger love.” What are these two qualities? Praying at night? Fasting all day? Al-Ashaj became overjoyed and said, “What are the two qualities, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet  said, “Forbearance and patience.” (Ahmad and Muslim) The Prophet  was asked about piety, and he replied, “Piety is to show good manners.” (Muslim) He  was asked about the deed on account of which most people will enter paradise, he  said, “Fear of Allah and good manners.” (al-Tirmidhi, Sahih) The Prophet  said, “The most complete in faith are those best in their character, those who are easy to socialise with, and those who get along with others and others get along with them. There is no good in the one who cannot get along with others and others cannot get along with him.” (al-Tirmidhi, Sahih) The Prophet  said, “There is nothing heavier in the scales than good manners.” (Abu Dawud, Sahih) Purify your intention for the sake of Allah The Prophet  said, “A person by his good character reaches the rank of the one praying at night and fasting all day.” (alTirmidhi, Sahih) The one who improves his character becomes successful in both worlds. Consider the incident of Umm Salamah – may Allah be pleased with her – when she sat with the Messenger of Allah  and thought about the Hereafter and what Allah had promised her. She said, “O Messenger of Allah! A woman might be married twice in this world. When she and her husbands die and they all enter paradise, who is she going to be with?” What did he  say in response? That she will be with the one who prayed the longest? Or the one who fasted the most? Or the most knowledgeable of them? No! Rather, he () said, “She will be with the best of them in character.” Umm Salamah was surprised. When the Prophet  noticed this, he said, “O Umm Salamah! Good character makes one successful in this life and the next.” Yes! The best of both worlds. He achieves the best of this world by earning people’s love, and the best of the next by gaining immense reward. No matter how much good a person does, his good deeds would always be marred by bad character. Once it was mentioned to the Prophet  that a certain woman prayed, fasted, gave in charity and did many other righteous deeds, but at the same time harmed her neighbours by her words (i.e., she was bad mannered). He  replied, “She will be in Hell.” Purify your intention for the sake of Allah The Prophet  was the best example to follow in every aspect of character. He was the most generous, the bravest, the most forbearing, and more bashful than a virgin. He was the most truthful and trustworthy person, as the disbelievers will bear witness to even before the believers, as will the sinners before the righteous.