5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

We had slaughtered a sheep, cut the meat into pieces and brought it along with us in a pot, ready to cook. We hadn’t yet lit the fire since we were too busy setting up the tent and arranging other things. Abu Khalid was taken over by vigour and – although we wish he had not been – he got up and turned to the pot to notice the meat inside. He decided that the first thing we must do is to pour water over the meat. He turned to our belongings in the car, searching through the various things, such as electricity generator, wires, lamps, four bottles with water and petrol, and other items. He took the closest bottle to him and happily returned to the pot and poured half of the bottle in it. When one of us caught sight of it, he screamed, “No! No! Abu Khalid!’ while he kept saying, “Leave me to do it for you!” We immediately snatched the bottle away from him and began to laugh hysterically with tears in our eyes, as we noticed that the bottle contained petrol and not water! Thus, we only had bread and tea for lunch. But the trip was not ruined. Rather, it was one of the best trips we ever had. Why should we continue to torture ourselves over something which was now over and done? I also remember, when I was in secondary school, I went with a few classmates on a trip. The battery in one of the cars failed. We brought another car face to face with the car that had broken down in order to connect the two batteries together. Meanwhile, Tariq came along and stood between the two cars. He wired the first battery to the dead one. He then asked a friend to turn the engine on. This friend of ours sat in the car, unaware that the car was in first gear.As soon as he turned the car on, it jumped forward and Tariq’s knees were struck by the car bumpers, and he fell to the ground, whilst our friend in the car kept asking, “Shall I turn the engine on, again?” We moved the cars apart and helped Tariq walk. He was limping and his knees were in severe pain. What surprised me was that he did not increase his pain further by screaming and insulting, or even rebuking anyone. He simply smiled happily. What was the point in screaming, when the matter had finished and this friend of ours had realised his fault? Therefore, if you want to enjoy your life, then act in accordance with this principle: Do not pay attention to small matters. Often we torture and lash ourselves, and we feel upset, dis45 Self torture tressed and in pain. But pain does not solve any problem. Suppose you go to a wedding party, wearing a beautiful garment and a beautiful headscarf with an ‘Iqal (a headband to keep the scarf in place), such that you look more handsome than the groom himself! You begin to shake hands with people, one-by-one, and suddenly there comes a child from behind you, holds on to the tip of your headscarf and pulls on it, making it fall along with the headband and the hat. You begin to look like a clown. What should you do in this situation? Many of us deal with such situations in a way that does not solve the problem. One may run after the child, screaming, insulting and cursing. The result? The child successfully achieves what he wanted, i.e. attracting attention, causing uproar and making people laugh. Some may even film the scene and exchange it with each others via Bluetooth! Here, you are not punishing the child, but actually only punishing yourself. Or suppose that you wear a new garment, for which you still haven’t fully paid. You go to a company for a job interview. You go through one of the doors that has just been coated with paint. Next to it there is a warning sign, but you do not notice it. Accidentally, some of the paint rubs onto your garment. The painter begins to shout at you, insultingly and angrily. How would you deal with such a scenario? Often we deal with such situations in ways that do not help solve the problem. We would become enraged and insult the painter saying, “Why didn’t you make the sign clear?” To which he would reply to you with more anger. As a result, you may get more covered in dust than paint! Self torture Take it easy! Do you realise that by behaving in this manner you are only punishing yourself? You can say the same if you dress up to deliver a sermon somewhere, and a car passes by as you are coming out of the house, driving over a puddle and thereby splashing water all over your clothes.