91. Be brave and start from now! (cont.)

I delivered a lecture and during it mentioned a verdict given by the eminent Shaykh 'Abd al-'Aziz bin Baz. When I finished, the old man said to me with pride, "Shaykh Ibn Baz and I were colleagues. We used to study together in a mosque under Shaykh Muhammad bin Ibrahim, about forty years ago." I turned around to look at him and noticed that he seemed very happy to share this information with me. He was delighted to have accompanied a successful man once in his life. I said to myself, "Poor man! Why did you not become as successful as Ibn Baz? If you knew the way to success, why did you not pursue it? They did not benefit Why is it that when Ibn Baz passes away, people cry for him from the pulpits, mihrabs, and institutes, and various nations grieve over the loss; yet, when your death comes, perhaps, nobody would shed a single tear, except out of kindness or custom!" We all may say at some time or another, "We knew so-andso and we sat with so-and-so." But this is nothing to be proud of. What one can be proud of is to scale the peak as they did. Be brave and from now on be determined to utilise all the abilities you possess. Be successful. Replace the frown on your face with a smile, depression with cheerfulness, miserliness with generosity, and anger with perseverance. Turn your calamities into occasions of joy and your faith into a weapon! Enjoy your life, for it is brief and there is no time in it for anguish. As for how to do this, then this is the reason for my writing this book. So bear with me until the end, with Allah's permission. You will bear with us if... You are brave enough to be determined and persistent on the development of your interpersonal skills, and if you are willing to take advantage of your abilities and talents. They did not benefit 22 (2) What are we going to learn? People generally tend to share their moments of happiness and sorrow. They are happy when they become wealthy. They will be joyous when promoted at work, content when they recover from illness, and cheerful when the world smiles at them and fulfils their dreams. Likewise, they all grieve over illness, disgrace and loss of wealth. Knowing this to be the case, let us look for ways in which to make our joy everlasting and hence overpower our sorrows. Yes, in reality life tends to be both sweet and bitter, and on this we would not disagree, but why do we often focus on our calamities and sorrows, and as a result become depressed for days on end? Where an hour is enough to grieve over something, hours on end are spent grieving. Why? I realise that sorrow and anguish enter our hearts without seeking permission, but for each door of sadness that opens there are a thousand means of shutting it, and these are what we will expound here. Allow me to bring your attention to another matter: How often is it that we see those people who are loved by everyone? Many long to meet them and be in their company, but do you not wish to be one of them? Why be content at being amazed by such people all the time? Why not try to be amazing yourself? Here we will learn how to be amazing. Why was it that when your cousin spoke at the gathering, everyone listened to him attentively? Why were they amazed at his manners of speech? Why was it that when you spoke, they all turned away and began to talk amongst themselves? Why was that? You may be more well-informed, better qualified and possess a higher status than him. How then did he manage to get all the attention and you failed? Why is it that one father is dearly loved by his children who love to greet him and accompany him wherever he goes, while another father begs his children to accompany him while they keep making all kinds of excuses to avoid doing so? Are they not both fathers? Then why the difference? Here we will learn how to enjoy life, know the various techniques to attract people, influence them, persevere with their faults, deal with people with bad manners, and much, much more. So, welcome! A word... Success is not to discover what others like, it is to acquire and practise the skills that help one gain their love. What are we going to learn? (3) Why do we search for skills? I once visited a deprived town to deliver a lecture, after which there came to me a teacher from outside the town. He said, "I hope you can help us finance some students." I said, "Strange! Aren't the schools government funded, and therefore free?" He said, "Indeed they are, but we would like to fund their university education." I said, "Well, the universities are also government funded.