5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

So I agreed with a kind young man to take my two sons, ‘Abd ar-Rahman and Ibrahim, after ‘Asr, to their Qur’an memorisation circles, or some summer amusement centre, and to return with them after ‘Isha. ‘Abd ar-Rahman was ten years old. I feared that that young man may ask him some useless questions, such as, “What is your mother’s name? Where is your house? How many brothers do you have? How much pocket money does your father give you?” So I warned ‘Abd ar-Rahman and said, “If he were to ask you an inappropriate question, just say to him that the Prophet  said, ‘From the excellence of one’s Islam is to leave that which does not concern him.’” I repeated to him the Hadith until he had memorised it. ‘Abd ar-Rahman and his brother then sat in the car with this young man. ‘Abd ar-Rahman was at the time both very tense and respectful. The young man said out of kindness, “May Allah prolong your life, O ‘Abd ar-Rahman!” ‘Abd ar-Rahman replied, “May Allah prolong your life, too!” The poor young man wanted to lighten up the atmosphere a bit, so he said, “Is the Shaykh delivering any lecture today?” ‘Abd ar-Rahman tried to remember the Hadith, but his memory did not help him, so he yelled, “Do not interfere in things that do not concern you!” The young man said, “I mean, I would just like to attend his lecture and benefit.” ‘Abd ar-Rahman then thought that he was trying to be clever, so he repeated the same response, ‘“Do not interfere in things that do not concern you.” The young man then said, “I am sorry, ‘Abd al-Rahman. But what I mean is…”, but ‘Abd ar-Rahman again Do not interfere in matters that do not concern you shouted, “No! Do not interfere in that which does not concern you!” They remained on these terms until I returned. ‘Abd arRahman then informed me of the entire story with pride, so I laughed and had to explain the concept to him once again. Workshop… Struggling against yourself to free yourself from interfering in others’ affairs is exhausting in the beginning, but easy in the end. Do not interfere in matters that do not concern you (30) How to deal with a meddlesome person At times, some people may grab your phone – without your permission – and begin to read your text messages. One of my friends was invited to a wedding party of a judge, and nearly all the invitees were renowned scholars. My friend sat amongst them engaged in deep conversation. Meanwhile, the presence of a mobile phone in his pocket really bothered him, so he decided to take it out and place it on the table, beside him. The respected scholar sitting next to him was quite involved in the conversation with him. Habitually, the respected scholar lifted the mobile phone resting on the table, and when he looked at the screen, his face changed and he returned the mobile phone to where it was. My friend noticed and tried his best to control his laughter. When he left the party, I sat with him in his car. He had placed his phone to his side. It happened that I picked up the phone, as the respected scholar in the wedding party did, and when I looked at the screen, I began to laugh hysterically. Do you know why? Many people write various messages on their mobile phone screens, such as his name, or ‘Remember Allah’, etc. As for my friend, he had written, ‘Put the phone back, you nosy person!’ Many such people tend to interfere in other people’s personal matters. Hence, it becomes habitual for them to sit in the car with you, open up the glove compartment and look at what’s inside! A nosy woman would look into another woman’s handbag to take her lipstick or eye shadow. One of them may call you and ask where you are. When you say, “I have some work to do”, he would ask, “Where? Who is with you?” etc. Some people we mix with often treat us in this manner. How do we then deal with them? One of the most important things you must not forget is to try to avoid the person as much as possible. Make sure no one becomes upset with you in the process. Be diplomatic whilst extracting yourself from such situations without creating problems between yourselves. Gaining enemies or losing friends must not be taken lightly, no matter what the causes may be. One of the best ways of dealing with such intruders is by responding to a question by another question, or changing the topic altogether, thereby making him forget the question he asked.