5. Would you like to meet him outside the institution? (cont.)

They had seen him with the spanner in his hand and realised he wanted to fight.When he saw them running towards him he was terrified, and when he realised they had noticed the spanner in his hand, he slowly raised it and said, "I apologise. I just wanted to let you know that this spanner dropped out of your car!" One of the men took the spanner and the three men returned to their car as the young man waved goodbye! Equation... Ill temper + Ill temper = Fireworks! Mu'awiyah's hair (22) The keys to hearts Every door has a key. The key to open people's hearts is to know their personalities, solve their problems, reconcile between them, benefit from their good and keep safe from their evil. One will become an expert in all these skills if he knows their personalities. Suppose an argument took place between a father and son due to which the father ordered the son to leave the house. The son then tried to return but the father persistently refused. You then get involved in order to reconcile between the two and remind the father of the religious texts pertaining to this issue and warn him about the sin of breaking the ties of kinship. However, he does not accept your advice, so you decide to use a different approach. You know that he has a very emotional personality and therefore go to him and say, "Won't you have mercy on your son? He sleeps on the floor without any roof to cover him.You eat and drink whist he remains hungry and thirsty. Do you not think of him each time you raise a morsel of food to put into your mouth? Do you not think about how he has to walk in the heat of the sun? Do you remember when he was small how you would hug and kiss him? Do you not think for a second that he might be living on handouts whilst his father is alive?" You would find that the father will be moved by these words and come closer to considering reconciliation. If his father was miserly, you could say to him, "Be careful and do not entangle yourself in further problems. Bring your son back so that he is under your supervision. You never know, he may steal or harm someone, due to which the court may order you to pay for the damage. You are, after all, his father, so be careful!" You would find that the miser would reconsider due to his fear of loss of finances! If you were speaking to the son and he loved wealth, you could say, "You need your father. Tomorrow, you would want to get married. Who would pay for the dowry? If your car breaks down, who will pay to get it fixed? If you fall ill,who will pay your medical fees? Your brothers are no doubt taking advantage of the situation as they are receiving their stipends and gifts whilst you sit here with nothing. Surely, you can change your situation by kissing your father on his forehead or saying sorry to him?" Similarly, if you were called to reconcile between a husband and wife, you could do the same and open up their hearts towards each other by using the appropriate skills. Likewise, if you wanted leave from work and knew that your boss does not give much consideration to emotional or social factors and his only concern is work, you might say to him, "I need a break for about three days in order to regain strength and vigour. I feel that the enormous workload has resulted in me being temporarily inefficient. Please allow me to rest my head for three days so I may return to work invigorated." If he is someone who has consid22 The keys to hearts eration for social factors, you may realise that he gives great importance to family matters. You could therefore say to him, "I need a vacation to visit my father and children. I have been feeling distant from them for a while." Perfect these skills and very soon you will hear people saying about you, "We have not seen anyone as skilful as this person in convincing others." The result... Every man has a key to his heart, and knowing his personality assists in identifying the right key to open it. The keys to hearts (23) Taking one's psychological condition into consideration People's moods and circumstances fluctuate between sadness and happiness, health and illness, affluence and poverty, and stability and instability. Subsequently, their reaction to the way they are dealt with also changes depending on their psychological state at the time. A person may appreciate a joke when he is stable and relaxed, but not when he is upset. It would thus be very inappropriate to make a joke when visiting someone who was bereaved. But the same joke would be acceptable if said whilst out on a picnic. This is something all people understand and needs no further explanation.